Losing it

I'm lost.

I acknowledge it.

It's funny how you think when you get older, you grow wiser and just learn more about yourself. So how did it happen that as I get older, I'm slowly losing myself and having a hard time picking out the things that I know I love?

I used to love a lot of things and stick to them. Stick to different hobbies that make me happy, and for a fact, I knew who I was and who I wanted to be. Somehow, along the way, I lost parts of myself. I used to be so determined and fought for what I wanted when right now, I don't even know where to go and what path to take.

We credit ourselves as people who know what their purpose is in life when a large part of our lives is dedicated into finding what we're comfortable with.

A lot of thoughts tumbling through my mind and I don't know how to organize them. Sometimes,  I don't even want to organize them. I just want to lie down and push important things aside but honestly, it troubles me deeply because I'm somewhere where I'm not sure of myself. I know that I shouldn't be living like this especially when I know that time is essential but... I don't know.

I'm growing afraid-- afraid of the future. I used to look forward to it so much. I'm afraid that the choices I made were not the best ones but I know that I can't do anything about it now and I should be making changes for myself.

How do you lose yourself along the way?  Shouldn't growing up mean unraveling the mysteries of life?

But that's just it, isn't it? You unravel truths but also stumble upon new mysteries every single day of your life. I guess the question shouldn't be about how you lost yourself but how you'll find yourself again.

So here I am, challenging myself to learn the art of letting go and go through an adventure, looking for who I am.