Falling Out Of Love

Okay, I fooled you.

This post isn't about the romantic kind of love if that's what you're searching for, rather, it's about falling in friend love with someone and falling out of love with the friendship as I'm sure everyone's experienced before.

Having a friend is a great experience, you do a lot of things with them and share your thoughts on things with each other, no matter how quirky that thought may be. You realize that the things you have in common only strengthen the bond and somehow, you've fallen in love with the thought of having someone constant in your life. You've fallen in love with the friendship, no eekie lovey dovey stuff, just pure and innocent friendship.

But sadly, people change. You wake up one day suddenly in love with another thought and find the posters in your room not to your liking anymore and change them. You find that what once was your favorite food now smelled pungent and undesirable. You find the songs you used listen to everyday become boring and scrap all your playlists to download new ones. And after all these changes, you find yourself drifting away from that someone you've fallen in friend love with; slowly disregarding talking with them everyday, ignoring their tweets, stopped badgering them with random text messages and you don't even feel guilty about it. What's more is when they're the ones who start pummeling you with messages, you don't feel as happy and elated before but quite annoyed.

Over the series of years you've spent here on Earth, you suddenly realize this phenomenon hasn't only happened to you once but a lot of times. Sometimes, you regret letting the friendship fall apart, but most of the time, you just go "meh" and move on with your life.

But it's never going to be the same, really.

You also fell in love with the thought of having someone around with you all the time and feeling secure. That you would have someone to share idle time with and don't feel awkward with whenever there's silence. You were holding onto the fact that when you need someone to listen to your seemingly senseless problems, they would be there no matter what. You, in fact, were trying to keep it together while all the while, slowly losing your faith in that person-- feeling left out and unwanted.

After all that pent up feeling, you start to let go. You start accepting the friendship that was falling apart. You start to stop giving a shit about it and give up trying to keep the friendship going. You don't mind the long days, weeks, months that go by without talking to each other. You don't mind going to places with someone else. You revel in the thought of finding someone else to be by your side. And slowly, you start to realize that you've fallen out of love with that person and started falling in love with another.